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AT4W: Avengers Assemble #1

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My state has it's own super hero apparently...

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Ecclytennysmithylove's avatar
Memorable quotes from episode 344:

Linkara: "Meanwhile, the Avengers are arriving in the Quinjet."
Iron Man: "Our intel from S.H.I.E.L.D. was right, Cap... check out those freaks!"
Linkara (as Captain America): *holding Cap's shield, frustrated* "Tony..." *facepalms himself* "Those are the Florida civilians we're trying to rescue."
Captain America: "They're called humanoids, Tony. Despite their name, they're actually androids..."
Linkara (as Captain America): "They also more resemble ladybugs, so... we're actually really confused about the name."
Captain America: "They're nearly invulnerable to physical attack, so our only hope is to scramble their internal circuitry."
Linkara (still as Captain America): "We've prepared several copies of Internet Explorer to install on them."
Linkara: "And so the four Avengers charge out, leaving nobody to fly the Quinjet as it crashes into Disney World or something. They engage the robots and wonder where exactly they're coming from. But enough of the superhero action; let's head on over to an orange grove and the family that farms on it."
John: "Deb, if you're not going to eat a big breakfast, at least drink your orange juice."
Linkara (as Deb): "Actually, I'm really more into apple juice."
Linkara (as John): *gasps* "I HAVE NO DAUGHTER!"
Linkara: "Their TV on the wall is soon reporting about the artwork from the previous page of the Avengers going into battle."
Newscaster: "This is a special news alert! Orlando is under attack by hundreds of creatures! In response, the Avengers have arrived, but they're greatly outnumbered!"
Linkara (as newscaster): "This has been Plot Convenience News, all the plot that needs reporting on for the characters that need to know."
-------
Linkara: "Anyway, by going into another room and activating the "solar pods", John becomes CAPTAIN CITRUS!"
Captain Citrus: "...Let's show the world what CAPTAIN CITRUS can do!"
Linkara (as Captain Citrus): *posing* "Mostly, I can do lemonade and Sunny D."
Linkara: "Back in Orlando, an energy blast comes down and hits one of the humidroids or whatever."
Captain America: "Thanks for the assist, Iron Man!"
Linkara: "However, it's not Iron Man that saved Cap."
Captain Citrus: "Actually, the name's Captain Citrus. Need a hand?"
Captain America: "Definitely. What did you shoot them with?"
Captain Citrus: "Pure Florida sunshine."
Linkara (as Captain Citrus): "Just wait until you see my Florida humidity attack."
-------
Linkara: "Cap summons the other Avengers to him, explaining that he has a plan: Captain Citrus can focus his solar energy through Thor's hammer and create a wide, arcing beam that'll take out the androids in a single burst."
Captain Citrus: "I'm projecting all the power I can, Thor. I hope I don't overload your hammer!"
Thor: "You needn't worry, new friend. Mjolnir can contain any force."
Linkara (as Thor): *holding up his hammer* "Mjolnir comes equipped with the mightiest of surge protectors."
Linkara: "The plan works, and the androids are all disabled. However, Thor says they're not done yet, seeing as they don't know who sent the humanoids or why the authorities didn't intervene."
Captain America: "Officers, none of you lifted a finger to help. What happened?"
Police Officer: "I--I can't explain it, Captain. I know it sounds crazy, but at the time everything looked normal."
Linkara (as police officer): "I mean, usually, the attacks by killer robots happen in the evening, but still..."
Captain Citrus: "It may just be a coincidence, but the other day I noticed a clearing in a neighbor's grove, like the beginning of a construction project, but the center was covered by a huge tarp."
Captain America: "I don't believe in coincidences."
Linkara (as Captain Citrus): "Hey, Cap, we both ordered the same drink from the coffee shop."
Linkara (as Captain America): "I don't believe in coincidences."
--------
Captain Citrus: "Join you and betray my family? Think again, genius!"
The Leader: "No one refuse me! No one!"
Linkara (as The Leader): *raising his fist in the air* "DAMN YOU AND YOUR LEMONADE, CAPTAIN CITRUS!!"
Linkara: "Captain Citrus' blasts bounce right off of the machine, which fires back at him, but he's able to defend himself. He realizes the only way to cut off its power is to interrupt the lightning strikes going into the machine. Naturally, he decides to do that with his body; specifically, his repeatedly-mentioned "solar pods", which are apparently the circles on his wrists. He does this, and shockingly... yeah... he gets electrocuted and falls to the ground. The Avengers are freed as the machine goes off and they make short work of The Leader's androids, capturing him. They see that Captain Citrus is dead nearby, but then again, this is just an orange juice PSA, so naturally, he's not quite dead yet. Plants start sprouting up out of the ground around his arms, and his body glows; in particular, the solar pods. At this point, you really have to start wondering why they didn't name him" *makes "finger quotes"* "'Captain Sun' or something. And he gets right up. The feedback from the lightning... it knocked me for a loop. I should've been a goner, but farmers down here... well, we're stronger than anyone knows."
Linkara (as Captain Citrus): "And it's all thanks to He Who Walks Behind the Rows."
Captain America: "And you've shown that the efforts of one person can save all of humanity from would-be dictators. I don't know who you are in civilian life, but I know those closest to you will be very proud."
Linkara (as Captain Citrus): "Thanks, Cap. I'll be sure to tell my cat that you said that."
Linkara: "And so, our comic ends with The Leader being taken away and Captain Citrus flying off."
Captain Citrus: "What a day... I met the Avengers, fought one of their worst foes, and helped save the world... And just think, it all started with a glass of orange juice!"
Linkara (as Captain Citrus): "It'll end with one, too! I'm contractually obligated eat oranges in some capacity for every one of my meals, and no other fruits. I feel dead inside."